Advent

I have generally struggled with the Christmas season, scorning materialism, consumerism, and general gift-ism, in favour of more spiritual pursuits such as cultivating true generosity throughout the year, a spirit of expectation and waiting/looking for God, and the revelation of truth and joy on Christmas day.

I have also generally found that there is no revelation on Christmas day--it is just another day, after all. I raise my hopes for some sort of deep meaning and don't find it.

So this year I am abandoning the idea of some sort of deeper meaning, some sort of spiritual expectation, and instead embracing the things that I have previously scorned. My goal this year is to make Christmas special for my children: to spend time together as a family and to spend money on gifts.

This Christmas season for me is about doing: buying gifts, baking cookies, buying Christmas decorations and putting them up. I am not engaging in much reflection about what it all means. I am not worrying about how much money I am spending and whether I am buying into consumerism or missing an opportunity to teach my kids some sort of spiritual truth about giving to others or being thankful for what you have. I am just trying to create some joy and some happiness in the here and now.

And you know what? It's working. We went Christmas shopping as a family two Saturdays ago, and it was really fun. We bought some quite expensive presents that we know the kids will LOVE. I bought some smaller presents that I know will be really fun for them.

Elias and Eowyn mostly know what they are getting, although there will be one or two surprises. This is to help mitigate the inevitable disappointment that comes from getting your expectations raised so high about what your surprise will be that nothing in reality can ever come close to the excitement and happiness you thought you would feel. I let Eowyn choose a baby dolly from the toy store, and the dolly has been put away and she knows she will get it on Christmas day. So she is getting her hopes up, but at least she knows what she is getting her hopes up for.

This next weekend we will get our tree, and we bought some decorations as a family. Each child got to choose a decoration that is theirs.

I've been baking gingerbread and shortbread cookies, and we bought a kit to make gingerbread houses. I bought some holiday window decals, which we will stick on the windows as a family. My parents sent us an advent calendar, which is stickers to stick onto a cardboard picture of a barn each day. I'm doing that with the kids to count down the days to Christmas.

If I get around to it I will encourage Eowyn and Elias to think of a gift to make or buy for each other, and we are making some simple gifts for our friends and family.

On Christmas Eve we plan to go carolling to a few neighbours, and will invite friends to join us if they want to.

This may all seem very simple and common, but in the past I have wanted to avoid common, and I have thought that the simple trappings of the Christmas season were too busy and detracted from the true spirit of Christmas. Whatever that is.

And while I really don't enjoy winter, all this snow certainly does create more of a Christmas feeling for me than last year in Nicaragua. Perhaps that is part of my new approach to Christmas as well--after being in a different culture, with a Christmas that overall can only be described as 'it sucked', I am more willing to embrace the way my culture does things, and ignore whatever problems may accompany that way of celebration. So then I have a more positive attitude about the whole season, and that gets transferred into a better time for myself and my family.

So I am counting down the days to Christmas, this year with the hopes of seeing big smiles on my kids faces, eating some good home cooked food and home baked treats, maybe spending some time with my brother and sister who are town (depending on their plans), but not expecting the day to be some sort of extra-super-special-no-one-has-any-conflicts-everything-is-better-than-usual-with-a-major-and-deep-spiritual-revelation-including-joy-and-peace event. It will just be a day, with some fun presents, I'm sure some conflicts on the part of the kids, some good food, and maybe even the singing of some Christmas carols.

Merry Christmas!

P.S. I just read my Christmas post from last year, and yes! I am doing what I had wanted to do. I am letting go and having fun! That resolution from last year really went deep in me. I had forgotten about what I had written about my children's births, but that is a good reminder to me too: remember the little revelations I have already had.